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| BOGUS BUSINESS BUREAU |
| 1 | Book of Armaments  | BBB | Literature | Books-Religious |
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Book of Armaments
Contains instructions for the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch: Armaments, chapter two, verses 9 through 21. And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."
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| 2 | The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch | BBB | Weapons | Weapons-misc |
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The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
Weapon used to destroy The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.
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| 3 | Roger the Shrubber | BBB | Services | Services-misc |
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Roger the Shrubber
He arranges, designs and sells shrubberies.
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| MAKE BELIEVE MAP |
| 4 | Caerbannog | Map | Nature | Natural Areas |
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Caerbannog
Home of the Rabbit of Caerbannog, an immensley cute but bloodthirsty rabbit-like monster.
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| 5 | Castle Aaargh | Map | Structures | Castles |
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Castle Aaargh
Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of... Aaargh.
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| 6 | The Castle Anthrax | Map | Structures | Castles |
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The Castle Anthrax
Zoot: We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes all between 16 and 19 and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oh, it is a lonely life. Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are not used to handsome knights.
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| 7 | The Cave of Caerbannog | Map | Nature | Caverns |
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The Cave of Caerbannog
Location of a carving indicating the last resting place of the Holy Grail. The entrance is guarded by the The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.
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| 8 | The Gorge of Eternal Peril | Map | Nature | Natural Areas |
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The Gorge of Eternal Peril
No man has ever crossed.
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| 9 | Nador | Map | Geographic Areas | Territories |
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Nador
Narrator: In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels and there was much rejoicing.
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| 10 | Swamp Castle | Map | Structures | Castles |
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Swamp Castle
Prince Herbert: To whoever finds this note: I have been imprisoned by my father who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle.
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| OTHER |
| 11 | The Black Knight | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Black Knight
The Black Knight: Chicken! Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
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| 12 | The Black Knight | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Black Knight
The Black Knight: It's just a scratch. I've had worse.
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| 13 | The Black Knight | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Black Knight
The Black Knight: I'll bite your legs off!!
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| 14 | The Black Knight | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Black Knight
The Black Knight: You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what's coming to you!!
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| 15 | Bridge of Death: What is Sir Galahad's f... | Other | Trivia | Questions |
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Bridge of Death: What is Sir Galahad's favorite color?
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| 16 | Bridge of Death: What is Sir Lancelot's ... | Other | Trivia | Questions |
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Bridge of Death: What is Sir Lancelot's favorite color?
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| 17 | Bridgekeeper | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bridgekeeper
Bridgekeeper: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
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| 18 | Bridgekeeper | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bridgekeeper
Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
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| 19 | Cleric | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Cleric
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
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| 20 | Dennis | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dennis
Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
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| 21 | Dennis | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dennis
Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
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| 22 | Dennis | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dennis
Dennis: Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system! Violence inherent in the system!
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| 23 | Dennis | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dennis
Dennis: Oh, king, eh, very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress...
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| 24 | Dennis | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dennis
Dennis: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
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| 25 | French Soldier | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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French Soldier
French Soldier: 'Allo, daffy English kniggets and Monsieur Arthur-King, who has the brain of a duck, you know!
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| 26 | French Soldier | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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French Soldier
French Soldier: Ah, this one is for your mother!!
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| 27 | French Soldier | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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French Soldier
French Soldier: I wave my private parts at your aunties!!!
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| 28 | French Soldier | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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French Soldier
French Soldier: Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
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| 29 | French Soldier  | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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French Soldier
French Soldier: You tiny brained wipers of other people's bottoms!
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| 30 | French Soldier | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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French Soldier
French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called 'Arthur King,' you and all your silly English Knights.
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| 31 | French Soldier | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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French Soldier
French Soldier: And now, remain gone illegitimate-faced buggerfolk! And, if you think you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet! Daffy English kniggets!
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| 32 | French Soldier | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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French Soldier
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
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| 33 | French Soldier | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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French Soldier
French Soldier: You cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey bottom biters!
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| 34 | King Arthur | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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King Arthur
King Arthur: Bloody peasant!
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| 35 | King Arthur | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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King Arthur
King Arthur: How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
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| 36 | King Arthur | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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King Arthur
King Arthur: Jesus Christ!
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| 37 | King Arthur | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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King Arthur
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!
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| 38 | King Arthur | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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King Arthur
King Arthur: I order you to be quiet!
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| 39 | King of Swamp Castle | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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King of Swamp Castle
King of Swamp Castle: This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.
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| 40 | Knights Who Say Ni! | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Knights Who Say Ni!
Knights who say Ni!: Ni!
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| 41 | The Legendary Back Beast of Aaargh | Other | Living Things | Animals |
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The Legendary Back Beast of Aaargh
Dangerous animated beast, killed when the animator has a heart attack.
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| 42 | Narrator | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Narrator
Narrator: In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels and there was much rejoicing.
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| 43 | Peasant | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Peasant
Peasant: I feel happy! I feel happy!
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| 44 | Sun | Other | Themes | Wolf |
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 | | #c97013 | #eda622 | #6e645a |
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| 45 | Witch | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Witch
Witch: I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch!
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| 46 | Zoot | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zoot
Zoot: Yes! Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
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| 47 | Zoot | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zoot
Zoot: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then, spank me!
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| 48 | Zoot | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zoot
Zoot: And after the spanking, the oral sex!
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| 49 | Zoot | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zoot
Zoot: We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes all between 16 and 19 and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oh, it is a lonely life. Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are not used to handsome knights.
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| 50 | Zoot's identical twin sister's name at C... | Other | Trivia | Name Game |
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Zoot's identical twin sister's name at Castle Anthrax.
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