Literature 1999. Written by Chuck Palahniuk.
Source Features: BBB (102) TIMELINE (3) MAP (2) QUOTES (14) TRIVIA (3) THEMES (1)
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Total Record Results: 127 - Medium: LITERATURE
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BOGUS BUSINESS BUREAU
1All-male Anal AdventuresBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

All-male Anal Adventures
Chapter 8. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill.

2American PornFill CorporationBBBCompaniesCompanies-misc

American PornFill Corporation
Chapter 20. The company behind the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill.

3Anal FixationBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

Anal Fixation
Chapter 8. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill.

4Backdoor Gang BangBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

Backdoor Gang Bang
Chapter 8. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill.

5The Bible Book of Remodeling Kitchens an...BBBLiteratureBooks-Instructional

The Bible Book of Remodeling Kitchens and Bathrooms
Chapter 19. Book in the pipeline from the good people of Tender Branson Enterprises, a mistake that Tender Branson wants to clean up before the plane goes down or before the flight recorder tape runs out.

6The Bible DietBBBProductsFitness Products

The Bible Diet
Chapter 19. Diet product in the pipeline from the good people of Tender Branson Enterprises, a mistake that Tender Branson wants to clean up before the plane goes down or before the flight recorder tape runs out.

7Bible TriviaBBBToysTabletop Games

Bible Trivia
Chapter 19. Board game from the good people of Tender Branson Enterprises, a mistake that Tender Branson wants to clean up before the plane goes down or before the flight recorder tape runs out. As if anything God says is trivial.

8Big Dick LoversBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

Big Dick Lovers
Chapter 8. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill.

9Bisexual Sex PartiesBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

Bisexual Sex Parties
Chapter 8. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill.

10Blah Blah AirlinesBBBTravelAirlines

Blah Blah Airlines
Chapter 47. Joke Tender Branson makes about the name of the airline of the flight that he hijacked, what he told the passengers as they were leaving the plane.

11The Book of Very Common PrayerBBBLiteratureBooks-Religious

The Book of Very Common Prayer
Chapter 24. Best-selling book of prayers attributed to Tender Branson that includes The Prayer to Delay Orgasm, The Prayer to Prevent Hair Loss and The Prayer to Silence Car Alarms, among others.

12The Book of Very Common Prayer, Volume I...BBBLiteratureBooks-Religious

The Book of Very Common Prayer, Volume II
Chapter 19. Book in the pipeline from the good people of Tender Branson Enterprises, a mistake that Tender Branson wants to clean up before the plane goes down or before the flight recorder tape runs out. According to Tender Branson, the prayers are getting a little witchy: For example, The Prayer to Make Someone Love You. Or, The Prayer to Strike Your Enemy Blind.

13Casa Castile BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Casa Castile
House model. Model of prefabricated home, broken in half and hooked to the back of semi truck, featuring cut-glass sconces on every wall and gold-plated fixtures in the bathroom. Tender Branson and his brother Adam ride through the Nebraska night down Interstate 80.

14CerebralSaveBBBProductsMedicine

CerebralSave
Chapter 27. Medication that Tender Branson's agent mentions, that a marketing team has created a name for, but doesn't actually exist yet.

15ChemoSolvBBBProductsMedicine

ChemoSolv
Chapter 27. Medication that Tender Branson's agent mentions, that a marketing team has created a name for, but doesn't actually exist yet.

16Columbia Memorial MausoleumBBBServicesFuneral Homes

Columbia Memorial Mausoleum
Chapter 43. Mausoleum where Tender Branson steals artificial flowers.

17Craftsman Manor BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Craftsman Manor
House model. Model of prefabricated home, broken in half and hooked to the back of semi truck that Tender Branson and Fertility Hollis catch out of Missoula, Montana, going west on Interstate 90.

18The Creedish Death Tragedy on IceBBBPerforming ArtsTheater Productions

The Creedish Death Tragedy on Ice
Chapter 27. Theatrical production starring Tender Branson, sponsored by SummerTime Old-Fashioned Instant Lemonade.

19Cum CraversBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

Cum Cravers
Chapter 7. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill.

20The Dawn Williams ShowBBBVideoTV-Talk Shows

The Dawn Williams Show
Chapter 31. TV talk show that Tender Branson's agent mentions. He also mentions Barbara Walters.

21Dodge VignetteBBBVehiclesMotor Vehicles

Dodge Vignette
Chapter 27. Name copyrighted for a car that hasn't been designed that Tender Branson's agent mentions.

22DonnadonBBBProductsMedicine

Donnadon
Chapter 27. Bogus blue pills that Tender Branson's agent gives him, prototype medication, miracle dream cures for epidemics still on the horizon.

23Dr. Webster AmbroseBBBHealthcareDoctors

Dr. Webster Ambrose
Chapter 32. Doctor that Fertility Hollis mentions to Tender Branson, telling him that if Dr. Ambrose calls to ask if he knows somebody named Gwen, he should say that he doesn't know her, that they never met.

24EndorphinolBBBProductsMedicine

Endorphinol
Chapter 25. Pills that Tender Branson's agent gives him, and tells him to take if he feels any emotion coming on.

25Flamingo Lodge BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Flamingo Lodge
House model. Model of prefabricated home, broken in half and hooked to the back of semi truck that Tender Branson and Fertility Hollis ride in for three days and nights, and only wake up when it was being set on on a foundation in Hamilton, Montana. They stepped out the back door just as the happy family who bought it was coming in the front.

26Ford MeritBBBVehiclesMotor Vehicles

Ford Merit
Chapter 27. Name copyrighted for a car that hasn't been designed that Tender Branson's agent mentions.

27Full Service Anal EscortsBBBVideoAdult Films

Full Service Anal Escorts
Chapter 44. Pornographic video that Tender Branson mentions when he talks about rewinding the video tapes of the people that he works for.

28GamaceaseBBBProductsMedicine

Gamacease
Chapter 23. Bogus chocolate pills that Tender Branson swallows, prototype medication, when the Sensitive Materials Interment Bill had passed the House and the Senate and the president was signing it into law.

29The Genesis CampaignBBBPerforming ArtsTheater Productions

The Genesis Campaign
Chapter 20, Chapter 19. Tender Branson's agent's idea, quick fix for the fact that Tender was still a virgin - very iffy media event in which Tender Branson gets married.

30GeriamazoneBBBProductsMedicine

Geriamazone
Chapter 27. Bogus orange pills that Tender Branson's agent gives him, prototype medication, miracle dream cures for epidemics still on the horizon.

31Girls Who Love GirlsBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

Girls Who Love Girls
Chapter 8. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill.

32GlucoCureBBBProductsMedicine

GlucoCure
Chapter 27. One of 140 copyrighted names for Diabetes medication that are still in development that Tender Branson's agent mentions.

33GlucodanBBBProductsMedicine

Glucodan
Chapter 27. One of 140 copyrighted names for Diabetes medication that are still in development that Tender Branson's agent mentions.

34GrowdenaseBBBProductsMedicine

Growdenase
Chapter 27. One of 140 copyrighted names for Diabetes medication that are still in development that Tender Branson's agent mentions.

35HemazineBBBProductsMedicine

Hemazine
Chapter 27. One of 140 copyrighted names for Diabetes medication that are still in development that Tender Branson's agent mentions.

36Holly Hills Estate BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Holly Hills Estate
House model. Model of prefabricated home, broken in half and hooked to the back of semi truck that Tender Branson and Fertility Hollis catch, headed south on Interstate 5 through Portland, Oregon.

37Horny DreamgirlsBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

Horny Dreamgirls
Chapter 8. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill.

38Hungry Butt HolesBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

Hungry Butt Holes
Chapter 7. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill. "The cold shadow of the Creedish church monument falls over me all morning as I bury Adam Branson. Under the layers of obscenity, under the Hungry Butt Holes, under the Ravishing She-Males, I dig with my hands into the churchyard dirt."

39InazanBBBProductsMedicine

Inazan
Chapter 27. Bogus chocolate pills that Tender Branson's agent gives him, prototype medication, miracle dream cures for epidemics still on the horizon.

40InsulinEaseBBBProductsMedicine

InsulinEase
Chapter 27. One of 140 copyrighted names for Diabetes medication that are still in development that Tender Branson's agent mentions.

41JodazoneBBBProductsMedicine

Jodazone
Chapter 27. Bogus pills that Tender Branson's agent gives him, prototype medication, miracle dream cures for epidemics still on the horizon.

42KohlercaineBBBProductsMedicine

Kohlercaine
Chapter 27. Medication that Tender Branson's agent mentions, that a marketing team has created a name for, but doesn't actually exist yet.

43Lips, Tits and Monster ClitsBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

Lips, Tits and Monster Clits
Chapter 8. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill.

44Maison d'Elegance BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Maison d'Elegance
House model. Model of prefabricated home, broken in half and hooked to the back of semi truck that Adam and Fertility hustle Tender Branson into, and barricade him into the bedroom.

45MaligNonBBBProductsMedicine

MaligNon
Chapter 27. Medication that Tender Branson's agent mentions, that a marketing team has created a name for, but doesn't actually exist yet.

46Maplewood Chateau BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Maplewood Chateau
House model. Top of the line manufactured house, broken in half and hooked to the back of semi truck, featuring seamless linoleum in the kitchen, no-wax vinyl floor covering in the two bathrooms, easy-clean patterned vinyl wallboard instead of Sheetrock. Tender Branson, his brother Adam and Fertility Hollis ride through Kansas.

47Mercury RaptureBBBVehiclesMotor Vehicles

Mercury Rapture
Chapter 27. Name copyrighted for a car that hasn't been designed that Tender Branson's agent mentions.

48Money-Making Secrets of the BibleBBBLiteratureBooks-Religious

Money-Making Secrets of the Bible
Chapter 19. Book in the pipeline from the good people of Tender Branson Enterprises, a mistake that Tender Branson wants to clean up before the plane goes down or before the flight recorder tape runs out.

49The Moorehouse CineplexBBBEntertainmentMovie Theaters

The Moorehouse Cineplex
Chapter 41. Movie theater from one of Tender Branson's wrong number calls. A woman calls to ask what time the late movie starts. Tender Branson tells her to kill herself.

50OncologicBBBProductsMedicine

Oncologic
Chapter 27. Medication that Tender Branson's agent mentions, that a marketing team has created a name for, but doesn't actually exist yet.

51Orgy BoysBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

Orgy Boys
Chapter 7. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill.

52PancreAidBBBProductsMedicine

PancreAid
Chapter 27. One of 140 copyrighted names for Diabetes medication that are still in development that Tender Branson's agent mentions.

53Parkwood Mansion BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Parkwood Mansion
House model. Model of prefabricated home, broken in half and hooked to the back of semi truck that Tender Branson and Fertility Hollis catch headed west.

54Peace of MindBBBVideoTV Shows-misc

Peace of Mind
Chapter 21. Tender Branson's new television program, a half hour every late night when he'll take calls from people needing advice. He'll offer new perspectives. According to the press releases, every so often the show will include a new prediction. A disaster, an earthquake, tidal wave, rain of locusts could be headed your way, so you'd better tune in, just in case. It's sort of the evening news before the fact.

55Plantation Manor BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Plantation Manor
House model. Model of prefabricated house, manufactured house, trailer house, featuring walk-in closets and a breakfast nook. How Tender Branson's brother Adam has been crossing and crisscrossing the country for the past ten years - they're broken into halves or thirds and hooked to the back of semi trucks, with the open side of each modular piece sealed with a sheet of translucent plastic.

56The Prayer Against Drivetrain NoiseBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer Against Drivetrain Noise
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

57The Prayer Against Excessive Underarm We...BBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer Against Excessive Underarm Wetness
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

58The Prayer for a Parking SpaceBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer for a Parking Space
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson. "Oh, divine and merciful God, History is without equal for how much I will adore You, when You give me today, a place to park. For You are the provider. And You are the source. From You all good is delivered. Within You all is found. In Your care will I find respite. With Your guidance, will I find peace. To stop, to rest, to idle, to park. These are Yours to give me. This is what I ask. Amen."

59The Prayer for a Second InterviewBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer for a Second Interview
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

60The Prayer for Increased Vaginal Sensiti...BBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer for Increased Vaginal Sensitivity
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

61The Prayer for Signing Important Documen...BBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer for Signing Important Documents You Don't Read
Chapter 20. Incantation that Tender Branson mentions reciting when the Sensitive Materials Interment Bill had passed the House and the Senate and the president was signing it into law.

62The Prayer to Create Extra Storage Space...BBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Create Extra Storage Space
Chapter 20. Incantation that Tender Branson mentions reciting when the Sensitive Materials Interment Bill had passed the House and the Senate and the president was signing it into law.

63The Prayer to Delay OrgasmBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Delay Orgasm
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

64The Prayer to Induce ErectionBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Induce Erection
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

65The Prayer to Locate a Lost Contact Lens...BBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Locate a Lost Contact Lens
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

66The Prayer to Lose WeightBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Lose Weight
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

67The Prayer to Maintain an ErectionBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Maintain an Erection
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

68The Prayer to Make Someone Love YouBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Make Someone Love You
Chapter 19. Incantation featured in Tender Branson's The Book of Very Common Prayer, Volume II.

69The Prayer to Make Traffic MoveBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Make Traffic Move
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

70The Prayer to Prevent Hair LossBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Prevent Hair Loss
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson. "God of ultimate stewardship, Shepherd of thine flock, As You would succor the least of Your charges, As You would rescue the most lost of Your lambs, Restore to me the full measure of my glory. Preserve in me the remainder of my youth. All of Creation is Yours to provide. All of Creation is Yours to withhold. God of limitless bounty, Consider my suffering. Amen."

71The Prayer to Prevent Parking TicketsBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Prevent Parking Tickets
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

72The Prayer to ProcrastinateBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Procrastinate
Chapter 20. Incantation that Tender Branson mentions reciting when the Sensitive Materials Interment Bill had passed the House and the Senate and the president was signing it into law.

73The Prayer to Recycle Accumulated Newspa...BBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Recycle Accumulated Newspapers
Chapter 20. Incantation that Tender Branson mentions reciting when the Sensitive Materials Interment Bill had passed the House and the Senate and the president was signing it into law.

74The Prayer to Remove Mildew StainsBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Remove Mildew Stains
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

75The Prayer to Silence Barking DogsBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Silence Barking Dogs
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

76The Prayer to Silence Car AlarmsBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Silence Car Alarms
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

77The Prayer to Stop Plumbing LeaksBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Stop Plumbing Leaks
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson.

78The Prayer to Stop SmokingBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Stop Smoking
Chapter 24. Incantation from the best-selling Book of Very Common Prayer by Tender Branson. "Our most Holy Father, Take from me the choice You have given. Assume control of my will and habits. Wrest from me power over my own behavior. May it be Your decision how I act. May it be by Your hands, my every failing. Then if I still smoke, may I accept that my smoking is Your will. Amen."

79The Prayer to Strike Your Enemy BlindBBBLiteratureShort Stories

The Prayer to Strike Your Enemy Blind
Chapter 19. Incantation featured in Tender Branson's The Book of Very Common Prayer, Volume II.

80Ravishing She-MalesBBBMediaMagazines-Adult

Ravishing She-Males
Chapter 7. Magazine in the Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill. "The cold shadow of the Creedish church monument falls over me all morning as I bury Adam Branson. Under the layers of obscenity, under the Hungry Butt Holes, under the Ravishing She-Males, I dig with my hands into the churchyard dirt."

81Red RopesBBBFoodCandy

Red Ropes
Chapter 7. Survivor version of Red Vines candy.

82Saved from SalvationBBBLiteratureBooks-Biography

Saved from Salvation
Chapter 21. Best-selling autobiography of Creedish Church survivor Tender Branson.

83SerenadonBBBProductsMedicine

Serenadon
The best anti-anxiety treatment ever invented that hasn't actually been invented yet, that Tender Branson's agent gives him for the placebo effect.

84Sex Secrets of the BibleBBBLiteratureBooks-Religious

Sex Secrets of the Bible
Chapter 19. Book in the pipeline from the good people of Tender Branson Enterprises, a mistake that Tender Branson wants to clean up before the plane goes down or before the flight recorder tape runs out.

85SinderellaBBBVideoAdult Film Parodies

Sinderella
Chapter 44. Pornographic video that Tender Branson mentions when he talks about rewinding the video tapes of the people that he works for.

86Springhill Castle BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Springhill Castle
House model. Model of prefabricated house, manufactured house, trailer house, featuring a whirlpool bathtub in the glamour bath, with two sinks and a wall of mirror. The living room and the master bedroom have skylights. The dining nook has a built-in china hutch with leaded-glass doors. How Tender Branson's brother Adam has been crossing and crisscrossing the country for the past ten years - they're broken into halves or thirds and hooked to the back of semi trucks, with the open side of each modular piece sealed with a sheet of translucent plastic.

87SS Ocean ExcursionBBBVehiclesWatercrafts

SS Ocean Excursion
Chapter 38. The old French line ship that sank while Fertility and Trevor Hollis danced.

88SummerTime Old-Fashioned Instant Lemonad...BBBBeverage ProductsJuice

SummerTime Old-Fashioned Instant Lemonade
Chapter 25. Corporate sponsor of Tender Branson's public appearances.

89Sutton Place Townhome BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Sutton Place Townhome
House model. Model of prefabricated home, broken in half and hooked to the back of semi truck that Tender Branson and Fertility Hollis catch, headed for they didn't know where, and they ended up in Billings, Montana.

90The Tender Branson Dashboard StatuetteBBBVehiclesAutomotive Products

The Tender Branson Dashboard Statuette
Chapter 20. Automotive product from the good people of Tender Branson Enterprises, a mistake that Tender Branson wants to clean up before the plane goes down or before the flight recorder tape runs out.

91Tender Branson EnterprisesBBBCompaniesEnterprises

Tender Branson Enterprises
The company behind such products as The Bible Diet, the books Money-Making Secrets of the Bible, Sex Secrets of the Bible Bible Book of Remodeling Kitchens and Bathrooms and the Book of Very Common Prayer, Volume II, and the Tender Branson Room Freshener.

92Tender Branson Media and Merchandising S...BBBCompaniesCommunications Companies

Tender Branson Media and Merchandising Syndicate
Chapter 16. Corporation mentioned in the papers that Tender Branson's agent has him sign: At the end of the first quarter, the agent comes by to make me sign some papers. Profit-sharing documents, the agent tells me. The party known as Tender Branson, to be hereafter known as The Victim, grants the party hereafter known as The Agent the power to receive and distribute all monies payable to the Tender Branson Media and Merchandising Syndicate, including but not limited to book sales, broadcast programming, artwork, live performances, and cosmetics, namely men's cologne.

93Tender Branson Miracle CrusadeBBBVideoTV Shows-misc

Tender Branson Miracle Crusade
Chapter 22. Tender Branson TV appearance tour - weeknight appearances in Florida - the Jacksonville, Tampa, Orlando and Miami circuit. Each night, Tender Branson performs a Miracle Minute, predicting an upcoming natural disaster.

94Tender Branson National Sensitive Materi...BBBMaintenanceWaste Management

Tender Branson National Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill
Chapter 20. A 20,000-acre repository for the nation's outdated pornography, located in what used to be the Creedish Church colony.

95Tender Branson Radio MinistryBBBRadioRadio Programs

Tender Branson Radio Ministry
Chapter 9. One of a thousand canned radio shows that Tender Branson taped in a studio he doesn't remember where.

96The Tender Branson Room FreshenerBBBMaintenanceCleaning Products

The Tender Branson Room Freshener
Chapter 19. Product in the pipeline from the good people of Tender Branson Enterprises, a mistake that Tender Branson wants to clean up before the plane goes down or before the flight recorder tape runs out.

97Topsail Estate Manor BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Topsail Estate Manor
House model. Model of prefabricated home, broken in half and hooked to the back of semi truck that Tender Branson and Fertility Hollis catch out of Denver, headed for Cheyenne.

98Truth, the FragranceBBBPersonal CarePerfumes

Truth, the Fragrance
Chapter 31, Chapter 17. Tender Branson's new cologne.

99Valley Plaza Shopping CenterBBBRetailShopping Centers

Valley Plaza Shopping Center
Chapter 41. Shopping center Tender Branson mentions when talking about how feels when walking around in his church clothes in public, standing out, being everyone's savior.

100ViralSeptBBBProductsMedicine

ViralSept
Chapter 27. Medication that Tender Branson's agent mentions, that a marketing team has created a name for, but doesn't actually exist yet.

101Westbury Estate BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Westbury Estate
House model. Model of prefabricated house, manufactured house, trailer house, featuring a formal dining room and a built-in fireplace in the living room. How Tender Branson's brother Adam has been crossing and crisscrossing the country for the past ten years - they're broken into halves or thirds and hooked to the back of semi trucks, with the open side of each modular piece sealed with a sheet of translucent plastic.

102Wilmington Villa BBBHome FurnishingHouse Models

Wilmington Villa
House model. Model of prefabricated home, broken in half and hooked to the back of semi truck, featuring faux tile countertops, a bidet in the master bath, almond-colored appliances in the kitchen and floor-length drapes in the dining room. Tender Branson, his brother Adam and Fertility Hollis ride through Dallas.

FICTITIOUS TIMELINE
103March 14, 1964 Dates20th Century: 60sEvents

March 14, 1964
Date scratched into the stall wall at the Miami airport where Tender Branson sits on a toilet: "John M was here 3/14/64".

104June 18, 1973 Dates20th Century: 70sEvents

June 18, 1973
Date scratched into the stall wall at the Miami airport where Tender Branson sits on a toilet: "Be here tonight for a free blow job. Saturday, June 18, 1973".

105January 8, 1976 Dates20th Century: 70sEvents

January 8, 1976
Date scratched into the stall wall at the Miami airport where Tender Branson sits on a toilet: "Carl B was here Jan. 8, 1976".

MAKE BELIEVE MAP
106Bolster CountyMapGeographic AreasCounties

Bolster County
County in Nebraska. Home of the Creedish Church.

107Creedish ChurchMapStructuresChurches

Creedish Church
Also known as The Creedish Death Cult, The Child Slave Cult, The Church Of Slave Labor, The Old Testament Death Cult. Tender Branson's religious group that commits mass suicide in an event called The Deliverance.

OTHER
108Attention Withdrawal SyndromeOtherMedical ConditionsSyndromes

Attention Withdrawal Syndrome
Chapter 13. Joke Fertility makes to Adam: What I told you about - it's starting. We need to get him locked up someplace, stat. He's going into Attention Withdrawal Syndrome.

109Bolivian Gray PantherOtherLiving ThingsAnimals

Bolivian Gray Panther
Chapter 20. Animal that Fertility Hollis predicts will become extinct.

110Fertility Hollis OtherQuotesQuotes

Fertility Hollis
Fertility Hollis: If you worry about disaster all the time, that's what you're going to get.

111Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: People need to know the Book of Very Common Prayer was not my idea. Yes, it sold two hundred million copies, worldwide. It did. Yes, I let them put my name on it, but the book was the agent's brainchild. Before that the book was the idea of some nobody on the writing team. Some copywriter trying to break into the big time, I forget.

112Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: I've just about perfected a failsafe technique for mopping up extra sage cream when the phone rings, again. A guy's calling to say he's failing Algebra II. Just as a point of practice, I say, Kill yourself.

113Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: A man calls to say his car won't start. Kill yourself. A woman calls to ask what time the late movie starts. Kill yourself. She asks, "Isn't this 555-1327? Is this the Moorehouse CinePlex?" I say, Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself.

114Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: A girl calls and asks, "Does it hurt very much to die?" Well, sweetheart, I tell her, yes, but it hurts a lot more to keep living.

115Tender BransonOtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: You're gone anaerobic, you're burning muscle instead of fat, but your mind is crystal-clear. The truth is that all this was just part of the suicide process. Because tanning and steroids are only a problem if you plan to live a long time. Because the only difference between a suicide and a martyrdom really is the amount of press coverage.

116Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: When we were on the ground and the passengers and crew were deplaning, I stood at the forward cabin door and said, I'm sorry. I apologize for any inconvenience. Please have a safe and enjoyable trip and thank you for flying Blah-Blah Airlines.

117Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: This is fish number 641 in a lifetime of goldfish. My parents bought me the first one to reach me about loving and caring for another living breathing creature of God. 640 fish later, the only thing I know is, everything you love will die.

118Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: May you be of complete service in your lifetime.

119Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: Praise and glory to the for this day through which we labor.

120Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: May our efforts bring all those around us to heaven.

121Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: May you die with all your work complete.

122Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: A woman calls and says her kids won't behave. Without missing a beat, I tell her, Kill yourself.

123Tender Branson OtherQuotesQuotes

Tender Branson
Tender Branson: I'm on a toilet in the Miami airport, and right at my elbow there's the hole in the stall wall, and all around the hole are messages left by men who sat here before me. John M was here 3/14/64. Carl B was here Jan. 8, 1976. Epitaphs.

124Untitled OtherThemesDiff|rent Strokes


#0b4008#777777#4b6b4a


125What is Tender Branson's Client number i... OtherTriviaNumbers Game

What is Tender Branson's Client number in the Federal Survivor Retention Program?
Survivor Retention Client #1,876
Survivor Retention Client #69
Survivor Retention Client #84


126What is the number of the flight that Te... OtherTriviaNumbers Game

What is the number of the flight that Tender Branson hijacks and records his life story on the flight recorder?
Flight 180
Flight 2039
Flight 815


127What is Trevor Hollis' crypt number in t... OtherTriviaNumbers Game

What is Trevor Hollis' crypt number in the Columbia Memorial Mausoleum?
2039
678
666



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