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Total Record Results: 8 - Medium: COMEDY ACTS / Group: OTHER |
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| # | | 1 | Beelzebozo & Tommy | Quotes | Quotes | |
Beelzebozo & Tommy
Beelzebozo: Hi, kids, it's Beelzebozo time! Tell me something, who here outta you young'uns has never watched a skin flick? C'mere, Tommy! See them? Them's titties, hoo-hoo!
Tommy: Mommy!
Beelzebozo: That is your mommy!
| | 2 | Bill Hicks  | Quotes | Quotes | |
Bill Hicks
Bill Hicks: Go back to bed America. Your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed America. Your government is in control again. Here- here is American Gladiators. Watch this. Shut up. Go back to bed America. Here is American Gladiators. Here is 56 channels of it. Watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together and congratulate you on living in a land of freedom. Here you go America. You are free to do as we tell you. You are free to do as we tell you.
| | 3 | Bill Hicks | Quotes | Quotes | |
Bill Hicks
Bill Hicks: How about a positive LSD story- that would be newsworthy Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness, experiencing itself subjectively. There is no death. Life is only a dream. and we are the imagination of ourselves. here's Tom with the weather.
| | 4 | Bill Hicks | Quotes | Quotes | |
Bill Hicks
Bill Hicks: It's great to be here. I thank you. I've been on the road doing comedy for 10 years now, so bare with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow through this shit one more time.
| | 5 | Bill Hicks  | Quotes | Quotes | |
Bill Hicks
Bill Hicks: It's not an adult feature unless at the end someone's gooey, okay?
| | 6 | Bill Hicks | Quotes | Quotes | |
Bill Hicks
By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself. Just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds, maybe one day they'll take root, I don't know- you do what you can. Kill yourself. Seriously, though, if you are, do. No, really, there's no rationalization for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers, okay? You're the ruiner of all things good. Seriously- this is not a joke. You're going, there's gonna be a joke coming... there's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It is the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself. I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now, too- oh, you know what Bill's doing- he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market. He's very smart. Oh, man, I am not doing that, you fucking evil scumbags. Oh, you know what Bill's doing now- he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research. Huge market. He's doing a good thing. Goddamnit I'm not doing that. You scumbags. quit putting a fucking dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet.
| | 7 | Miss Deuteronomy | Events | Beauty Pageants | |
Miss Deuteronomy
Bill Hicks: I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians, who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply. Isn't that weird? Didn't you think they'd be for things that cause sexual thoughts, you know what I mean? Maybe even a centerfold in the Bible? I don't know... Miss Deuteronomy? Turn-offs: Floods, locust and smokers.
| | 8 | Untitled | Themes | Gray Eagle | |
 | | #713a19 | #c2622a | #e19a72 |
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