A FREQUENT APPEARER IN THE FICTION EMPIRE

Total Record Results: 21
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1Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie: They rake me over the coals. Today, I take those burning coals, I shove them back down their throats, and I watch their melting flesh drip off their worthless faces! It's all in good fun.


2Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: The Tucker Park Graffiti Removal Project was a great idea that just ran out of steam. We had removed five cartoon penises, not even 10%, when we were shut down due to lack of funding. To this day, I am haunted by those remaining penises. One penis in particular.


3Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: I am gonna build that park myself, and it is gonna be awesome. And it's not gonna have a fountain shaped like Hugo Chavez's head spitting water all over everyone.


4Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like and the absolute worst day of my life.


5Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: In a town as old as Pawnee, there's a lot of history in every acre. This wooded area is the site of, um, the murder, actually, of Nathaniel Bixby Mark. He was a pioneer who was killed by a tribe of Wamapoke Indians, after he traded them a baby for what is now Indianapolis. They cut his face off. And they made it into a dream catcher. And they made his legs into rain sticks. And that's the great thing about Indians, back then, is, they used every part of the pioneer.


6Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Maybe in your world it isn't a big deal. You're a white Protestant man with a full, rich mustache. But I am a woman and I need to hold myself up to a higher standard.


7Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: So who gives me the go-ahead to not ask for permission but ask for forgiveness? Is it Ron? No, no.


8Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Tom Haverford, boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate.


9Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: But you know, luckily for me, I've processed all my feelings and I've gone through the five stages of grief, denial, anger, Internet commenting, cat adoption, African dance, cat-returning-to- the-adoption-place, watching all the episodes of Murphy Brown and not giving a flying fart. How many stages is that? I don't know.


10Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: This is like a waking nightmare of happiness.


11Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Midi-chlorians are a fictional substance found in the blood of Jedi knights from the movie Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. Which, side-note, was a terrible movie. It almost destroyed the franchise, according to my husband.


12Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Every February 13th, my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home and we just come and kick it breakfast style. Ladies celebrating ladies. It's like Lilith Fair minus the angst. Plus frittatas.


13Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Each year every city in Indiana is reviewed by the Department of Emergency Preparedness. And Pawnee has failed On last year's report, they stated, "Every time it so much as drizzles in Pawnee, the town is in danger of collapsing into Thunderdome-style, post-apocalyptic mayhem."


14Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Well, I am gonna think about a revenge plan. I know what we're gonna do. We're gonna find out where he lives. We're gonna drive to his house. We're gonna set it on fire and watch it burn.


15Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: You have five seconds to get out of here Or I will rip your throats out.


16Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Recently, the last remaining telephone booths in Pawnee were torn down, and on that patch of concrete, I am creating Pawnee's newest tourist attraction: The smallest park in Indiana. The title is currently held by Martin Luther King, Jr. Park in Terryville, but guess what? Terryville sucks old car tires, and so does Martin Luther... No, he does not suck old car tires. He was one of the greatest men in history. I'm sorry. Sometimes I get competitive.


17Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Councilman Howser. I saw your penis.


18Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Winning is every girl's dream. But it's my destiny.


19Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: By the way, maybe it's none of my business, but if you eat three pounds of steak every day, you're gonna die, and although I've already written your eulogy, and it's incredibly touching, I would prefer not to give it for a while. The first line, by the way? "O Captain! My Captain!" Ron Swanson, a Swan Song.


20Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: I'm a feminist, okay? I would never, ever go to a strip club. I've gone on record that if I had to have a stripper's name, it would be 'Equality'. But I'm willing to sacrifice all that I've worked for just to put a smile on your perverted little face.


21Leslie Knope PARKS AND RECREATION 2009 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

PARKS AND RECREATION
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Now, the sadness is pouring out of Tom, like blood from a pterodactyl after it's attacked by a T-Rex.



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