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| 1 | 2018 ORA Professional Achievement Award  | Recognition | Awards |
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2018 ORA Professional Achievement Award
Award on Melissa's desk in her realty office.
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| 2 | Bi-corn | Living Things | Animals |
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Bi-corn
Carol mentions: It's like a bi-corn. A unicorn with two horns.
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| 3 | Carol   | Quotes | Quotes |
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Carol
Carol (after spotting Yoda in the background of her family photo with her new mom): Jiminy Glick.
 
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| 4 | Carol & Melissa | Quotes | Quotes |
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Carol & Melissa
Carol: As you can see, I've been doing a little bit of decorating. Not quite done yet. Don't judge it.
Melissa: Wait, there's gonna be more?
Carol: Oh, yeah. What you're looking at is the decoration version of Bruce Banner. But someone just made him very angry. And over the next few days, he's about to become the Christmas Hulk!
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| 5 | Carol, Gail & Tandy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Carol, Gail & Tandy
Carol: Looks like we have company. And that company... is a Yoda.
Gail: We don't even know what that is.
Carol: Oh, it's pretty clearly a Yoda.
Tandy: Think we're making a mistake by putting all our eggs in this Yoda basket. I mean, could be some sort of gremlin or yeti or troll. Oh, wait. No, trolls don't exist.
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| 6 | Carol, Todd & Melissa | Quotes | Quotes |
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Carol, Todd & Melissa
Carol: So what brings you to Tucson, Todd?
Todd: Oh, you know, actually, I was on my way to Zihuatanejo from Baltimore when I saw Phil's Alive in Tucson billboard.
Carol: Why were you going to Zihuatanejo?
Todd: I got the idea from the Shawshank Redemption.
Melissa: Oh my God, that's... that's my favorite movie.
Todd: No, it's my favorite movie, too.
Melissa: I've seen it, like, a hundred times.
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| 7 | Fake-a-mole | Recipes | Recipes-misc |
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Fake-a-mole
Carol's fake guacamole - instead of avocados, Carol whips up some oatmeal, adds brown rice for mouth-feel, then blends in some green food coloring for visual titillation.
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| 8 | Fake-atilla Chips | Recipes | Recipes-misc |
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Fake-atilla Chips
Carol uses uncooked pasta instead of tortilla chips to go with her Fake-a-mole dip.
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| 9 | Gail | Quotes | Quotes |
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Gail
Gail: Cancun, baby!
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| 10 | Gail | Quotes | Quotes |
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Gail
Gail: Well, the last time I was on a train, I was smuggling a duffel bag full of endangered turtles, but this is pretty nice.
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| 11 | Gail | Quotes | Quotes |
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Gail
Gail: What are you laughing at, Gordon? That little SkyMall R2-D2's gonna be our ticket out of here, and we're gonna get the sumbitch... We're gonna get you!
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| 12 | HERPEES | Medical Conditions | Conditions |
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HERPEES
Not Herpes. According to Tandy, HERPEES is: High Elevation Rugrat Positively Evades Staircase Syndrome.
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| 13 | HPV | Medical Conditions | Diseases |
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HPV
Also known as "Human People Vanished" disease, dubbed so by Tandy.
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| 14 | Karl | Criminals | Serial Killers |
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Karl
Serial killer the gang sets free from prison, played by Fred Armisen.
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| 15 | Karl the cannibal serial killer's dog's ... | Trivia | Name Game-Animals |
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Karl the cannibal serial killer's dog's name.
 
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| 16 | Melissa | Quotes | Quotes |
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Melissa
Melissa: What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaains!
 
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| 17 | Melissa & Gail | Quotes | Quotes |
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Melissa & Gail
Melissa: Is that what I think it is?
Gail: Yep. Pure yayo. Good stuff. Bolivian. bills, farm. K, street. She will take you for a ride, let you walk on the wind, then drop you like a bad trust fall.
Melissa: Why do you know so much about this?
Gail: Well, let's just say that the 80s and Gail Klosterman had a love-love relationship.
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| 18 | Melissa & Todd | Quotes | Quotes |
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Melissa & Todd
Melissa (as Andy): I understand you're a man who knows how to get things.
Todd: What is all this, hon?
Melissa (as Andy): Why, it's Shawshank Prison, of course.
Todd: Look, Melissa, I just...
Melissa (as Andy): Who's Melissa? Red, it's me, Andy. Now, I understand you're a man who knows how to get things.
Todd: Okay, look, this is fun and everything, but I just, I'm not in the mood to do this right now...
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| 19 | Melissa & Todd | Quotes | Quotes |
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Melissa & Todd
Melissa (as Andy): Red! I understand you're a man who knows how to get things.
Todd: Oh... (as Red) I've been known to locate certain things from time to time.
Melissa (as Andy): Can you get me a baby?
Todd (as Red): I don't think we have those.
Melissa (as Andy): Then I guess we'll have to make one. So let's get busy gettin' busy, or get busy dyin'.
Todd: Some say Red was a little concerned about Andy at that point. Red didn't want to role-play anymore, and just wanted to talk to his old pal Melissa.
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| 20 | Melissa & Todd | Quotes | Quotes |
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Melissa & Todd
Melissa: Todd, I know you're not okay. I know Zihuat's not what you expected. But I think I know a way to help. You know the final scene of Shawshank? Well, they didn't film that in Zihuatanejo.
Todd: Get out of town, okay? Go fishin'.
Melissa: They shot that in Saint Croix. Tax credits.
Todd: Are you serious?
Melissa: Yeah.
Todd: Boy, damn. Damn you, Zihuatanejo! You lied to me! All of you! The entire production team of The Shawshank Redemption. Cast, crew, and most certainly locations, you've all got blood on your hands. Everyone. Everyone except for you.
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| 21 | Melissa, Phil & Carol | Quotes | Quotes |
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Melissa, Phil & Carol
Melissa: You got rid of the beard.
Phil: Yes, I did.
Melissa: Thought that was kind of cool.
Phil: You did? Oh.
Carol: Yeah, your chin is too pointy. You just need something to smooth it out. Yeah, you look smaller. Weaker... Who do you look like?
Melissa: Quentin Tarantino.
Phil: Uh, okay, yeah, yeah. I don't see that, but...
Carol: KD Lang, isn't it?
Melissa: It's KD Lang.
Phil: KD Lang, the female country singer?
 
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| 22 | Newport Ceramics Festival | Events | Fairs and Festivals |
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Newport Ceramics Festival
Art festival.
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| 23 | The Ohio Realtors Awards | Recognition | Awards Ceremonies |
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The Ohio Realtors Awards
Award on Melissa's desk in her realty office.
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| 24 | Phil, Carol & Melissa | Quotes | Quotes |
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Phil, Carol & Melissa
Phil: Melissa, it's my favorite movie, too. Big Shankhead here.
Carol: I thought you said your favorite movie was The Godfather.
Phil: Carol, are you high? The Godfather is crap next to Shawshank. Yes, Tom Hanks at his finest, right?
Melissa: Tom Hanks? What's your favorite part of Shawshank, Phil?
Phil: Uh... There's so many parts. So many parts to... choose from and to pick from. Uh, probably, you know, the-the part where the Shawshank is redeemed.
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| 25 | SIFILISS | Medical Conditions | Conditions |
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SIFILISS
Not syphilis. According to Carol, SIFILISS is:Sudden Infant Falling Into Large Indoor Spaces Syndrome.
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| 26 | Stocko Syndome | Medical Conditions | Conditions |
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Stocko Syndome
Last Man on Earth version of Stockholm Syndrome.
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| 27 | Tandy | Themes | Shield, The |
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 | | #900113 | #133c89 | #91b64d |
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| 28 | Tandy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Tandy
Tandy: Found our Yoda, looks like we did.
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| 29 | Tandy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Tandy
Tandy: It truly was a Shawshank Redemption.
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| 30 | Tandy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Tandy
Tandy: There's only one place he could have gone (Cut to Tandy driving the DeLorean from Back to the Future).
 
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| 31 | Tandy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Tandy
Tandy: We bid our final "hasta la vista, baby" to this place that meant so much until it turned into a raging carnival of horrors. And now, we send it back to Hell, from whence it came. Beelzebub, take this house and shove it in your butt.
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| 32 | Todd | Quotes | Quotes |
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Todd
Todd: Oh, talk about paradise. Yeah. You know, as Red once said, (as Red) "I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams." (normal voice) News flash... it's bluer. Yup, yup. I mean, this is even better than I pictured it. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
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| 33 | Todd & Melissa | Quotes | Quotes |
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Todd & Melissa
Todd (as Andy): Well, Andy, it's still hard saying good-bye to Zihuatanejo.
Melissa (as Andy): Well, Red, get busy living...
Todd and Melissa: Or get busy dying.
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| 34 | Todd & Melissa | Quotes | Quotes |
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Todd & Melissa
Todd (as Morgan Freeman): Well, I guess it's time for me to move on to the next movie in my filmography, Seven. Will you join me, Brad Pitt?
Melissa (as Brad Pitt): What's in
the box? What's in the box?
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| 35 | Todd & Melissa | Quotes | Quotes |
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Todd & Melissa
Todd (as Red): Excuse me, I'm lookin' for my old pal, Andy. Resides in Shawshank.
Melissa: What are you doing?
Todd (as Red): It's me, Red. Now, can I talk to my old pal, Andy? (normal voice): Okay, look, you can push me away all you want, but I'm gonna be like a friggin' boomerang. Coming right back every time. Because that's what you do for the people you love.
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| 36 | Todd & Melissa | Quotes | Quotes |
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Todd & Melissa
Todd (as Red): I have to remind myself, some birds aren't meant to be caged.
Melissa: So get busy livin'...
Todd and Melissa: or get busy dyin'.
Tandy: It truly was a Shawshank redemption... Tom Hanks.
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| 37 | Todd & Melissa | Quotes | Quotes |
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Todd & Melissa
Todd (as Red): Zihuatanejo. Oh, man, just wait till you see it. They say the boardwalk is a must-see for locals and tourists alike. The perfect spot for our honeymoon.
Melissa (as Andy): But let's promise not to talk like this when we're making love.
Todd (as Red): Oh, you know I can't make that promise, Andy.
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| 38 | Todd & Melissa | Quotes | Quotes |
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Todd & Melissa
Todd: Well, as long as we're going to Mexico, Melissa and I have a pitch.
Melissa (as Andy): There's a little place on the Pacific Ocean. You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific?
Todd (as Red): They say it has no memory. That's where I want to live the rest of my life. A warm place with no memory. Zihuatanejo.
 
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| 39 | Todd & Melissa | Quotes | Quotes |
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Todd & Melissa
Todd: You know what? I want to make a toast. Thank you, Zihuatanejo, for making me "see what an A-ho" I've been for not getting here sooner. But you know what? I'm here now. And talk about living up to the hype. I mean, come on. Will somebody pinch me, please? I mean, Melissa, please, pinch me, would you?
Melissa: I'm not gonna pinch you.
Todd: Okay, well, then, I'm jumping on my own grenade here. It's just... No, it didn't work. It still feels like a dream. And not a dry one. I love this place! Shawshank lives!
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| 40 | Todd & Tandy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Todd & Tandy
Todd: Tandy, she's in Zihuatanejo.
Tandy: Zihuatanejo?
Todd: Yeah, it's where Andy and Red go at the end of Shawshank.
Tandy: Spoiler, dude. God.
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| 41 | Unicorn | Living Things | Animals |
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Unicorn
Carol mentions: It's like a bi-corn. A unicorn with two horns.
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| 42 | Untitled | Themes | Pleasantville |
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 | | #3d4c69 | #a77d4d | #6e90b5 |
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| 43 | Untitled | Themes | Shield, The |
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 | | #133d81 | #a83b39 | #000000 |
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