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| 1 | Badger  | Quotes | Quotes |
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Badger
Badger: Dude, you are historically retarded. Nazi zombies don't wanna eat you just because they're craving the protein. They do it because - They do it because they hate Americans, man.
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| 2 | Badger & Saul Goodman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Badger & Saul Goodman
Badger: You're gonna get me off, right?
Saul Goodman: What do I look like - your high school girlfriend five fingers, no waiting?
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| 3 | Badger & Skinny Pete  | Quotes | Quotes |
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Badger & Skinny Pete
Badger: Dude, you are tripping. I'm not dead. I'm on the starship Enterprise macking on Yeoman Rand while the Andorian with the disruptor is back on Talos IV, or whatever.
Skinny Pete: What do you think all those sparkles and shit are? Transporters are breaking you apart, man, down to your molecules and bones. They're making a copy. That dude who comes out on the other side? He's not you. He's a color Xerox.
Badger: So you're telling me every time Kirk went into the transporter, he was killing himself? So, over the whole series, there's like 147 Kirks?
Skinny Pete: At least, dude. Yo, why do you think McCoy never likes to beam nowhere? Because he's a doctor, bitch. Look it up, it's science.
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| 4 | Badger's Star Trek Script: Badger & Skin... | Quotes | Quotes |
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Badger's Star Trek Script: Badger & Skinny Pete
Part 1. Badger: I ever tell you about my Star Trek script?
Skinny Pete: Star Trek script?
Badger: Yeah. I gotta write it down, is all. The Enterprise is five parsecs out of Rigel XII. Nothing's going on, Neutral zone is quiet. The crew is bored, so they put on a pie-eating contest. The whole crew's in the galley. They're eating tulaberry pies.
Skinny Pete: Tulaberry?
Badger: Tulaberries, from Gamme Quadrant, yo.
Skinny Pete: That's Voyager, dude.
Badger: Okay, blueberries, then. They're eating blueberry pies...
Skinny Pete: Better.
Badger: ...as fast as the replicator can churn them out.
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| 5 | Badger's Star Trek Script: Badger & Skin... | Quotes | Quotes |
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Badger's Star Trek Script: Badger & Skinny Pete
Part 2. Badger: Finally, it's down to just three - Kirk, Spock and Chekov. Okay, Spock always wins these things.
Skinny Pete: How is Spock gonna beat Kirk, yo? Spock's like a toothbrush. Look at Kirk. He's got room to spare.
Badger: Spock has total Vulcan control over his digestion. You wanna hear this or not?
Skinny Pete: Yeah, yeah, go.
Badger: Okay, Finally, Kirk, he can't take it anymore, he yorks.
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| 6 | Badger's Star Trek Script: Badger & Skin... | Quotes | Quotes |
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Badger's Star Trek Script: Badger & Skinny Pete
Part 3. Badger: Now it's just down to Chekov and Spock. But Chekov, you see, he's got a whole fat stack of quatloos riding on this, and he has figured out a way to win. He's got Scotty back in the transporter room locked in on Chekov's stomach. Every time Chekov eats a pie, Scotty beams it right out of him.
Skinny Pete: Where's he sending them, the toilet?
Badger: Space. There's blueberries just floating out there, frozen, because, it's in space. And Chekov is just shoveling them into his mouth, and Spock's like, "I can't believe this Russian is defeating me." Meanwhile, Scotty's on the transporter room, fiddling with levers, when Lieutenant Uhura comes in. And she's got, you know, her big points, and Scotty's fingers are all sweaty. Chekov screams! He sprays blood out of his mouth - Scotty beamed his guts into space!
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| 7 | Declan & Walter White | Quotes | Quotes |
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Declan & Walter White
Declan: Who the hell are you?
Walter White: You know.You all know exactly who I am. Say my name.
Declan: Do what? I don't have a damn clue who the hell you are.
Walter White: Yeah, you do. I'm the cook. I'm the man who killed Gus Fring.
Declan: Bullshit. Cartel got Fring.
Walter White: Are you sure? That's right. Now, say my name.
Declan: You're Heisenberg.
Walter White: You're goddamn right.
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| 8 | Environmental Consciousness Award | Recognition | Awards |
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Environmental Consciousness Award
Award in Jesse's little brother Jacob's room.
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| 9 | Female Pa Announcer at Albuquerque Airpo...  | Quotes | Quotes |
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Female Pa Announcer at Albuquerque Airport
Female PA Announcer at Albuquerque Airport: "The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. No parking." Airplane! reference.
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| 10 | Gustavo Fring | Quotes | Quotes |
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Gustavo Fring
Gustavo Fring: Pollos Hermanos, where something delicious is always cooking.
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| 11 | Hank Schrader | Quotes | Quotes |
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Hank Schrader
Hank Schrader: Chick's got an ass like an onion. Makes you wanna cry.
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| 12 | Hank Schrader | Quotes | Quotes |
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Hank Schrader
Hank Schrader: First off, Miracle Whip is not mayonnaise, okay? "Looks like it" does not equal "taste like it". Secondly, every time it's like they gotta slather an entire jar.
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| 13 | Hank Schrader | Quotes | Quotes |
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Hank Schrader
Hank Schrader: My name is ASAC Schrader, and you can go fuck yourself.
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| 14 | Hank Schrader | Quotes | Quotes |
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Hank Schrader
Hank Schrader: This is not a rock, this is a mineral, for, like, the 10th time. Blue corundum, to be precise.
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| 15 | Hank Schrader & Walter White | Quotes | Quotes |
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Hank Schrader & Walter White
Hank Schrader: Whoa, whoa, no heavy lifting. I got it.
Walter White: It's okay.
Hank Schrader: I got it. Jesus. What do you got in there, cinderblocks?
Walter White: Half a million in cash.
Hank Schrader: That's the spirit.
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| 16 | Huell Babineaux | Quotes | Quotes |
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Huell Babineaux
Huell Babineaux: It was an act of God. Aint no accounting for no act of God.
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| 17 | Janet & Bobby | Quotes | Quotes |
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Janet & Bobby
Janet: KDK-12, come in. KDK-12.
Bobby: KDK-12.
Janet: Hey, Bobby, need you to look in on Mrs. Peyketewa.
Bobby: She all right?
Janet: Her daughter called from California. She hasn't heard from her in a while, kind of worried.
Bobby: Will do.
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| 18 | Jesse Pinkman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jesse Pinkman
Jesse Pinkman (answering machine message): Hey, it's me. Wait for the thing.
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| 19 | Jesse Pinkman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jesse Pinkman
Jesse Pinkman: But seriously, what was the deal with Gus? That Terminator shit. Walking right into the bullets. What the hell was he doing?
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| 20 | Jesse Pinkman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jesse Pinkman
Jesse Pinkman: Hey tell your douchebag brother-in-law to head towards the light.
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| 21 | Jesse Pinkman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jesse Pinkman
Jesse Pinkman: It's just basic chemistry, yo.
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| 22 | Jesse Pinkman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jesse Pinkman
Jesse Pinkman: I'm the guy your boss brought here to show you how it's done. And if this is how you run your lab, no wonder. You're lucky he hasn't fired your ass. Now, if you don't want that to happen, I suggest you stop whining like a little bitch, and do what I say.
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| 23 | Jesse Pinkman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jesse Pinkman
Jesse Pinkman: Yo, I thought I was gonna see some, like, vaginas.
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| 24 | Jesse Pinkman, Badger & Skinny Pete | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jesse Pinkman, Badger & Skinny Pete
Jesse Pinkman: What's the point of being an outlaw when you have responsibilities?
Badger: Darth Vader had responsibilities. He was responsible for the Death Star.
Skinny Pete: True that. Two of them bitches.
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| 25 | Mike Ehrmantraut | Quotes | Quotes |
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Mike Ehrmantraut
Mike Ehrmantraut: Don't make me beat you until your legs don't work.
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| 26 | Mike Ehrmantraut | Quotes | Quotes |
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Mike Ehrmantraut
Mike Ehrmantraut: You know, Walter, sometimes it doesn't hurt to have someone watching your back.
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| 27 | Most Distinguished Mathlete | Recognition | Awards |
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Most Distinguished Mathlete
Award in Jesse's little brother Jacob's room, from L.C. Byrd Magnet School.
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| 28 | New Drug for Los Pollos Hermanos | Polls | Polls |
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New Drug for Los Pollos Hermanos
Without Walter White's legendary blue meth, Los Pollos Hermanos needs a new drug to distribute. You pick.
THIS POLL IS CLOSED.
THE WINNER IS:
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| 29 | Number of the Wayfarer flight that colli... | Trivia | Numbers Game |
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Number of the Wayfarer flight that collides with a chartered plane over Walt's house?
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| 30 | Platinum Award | Recognition | Awards |
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Platinum Award
Award presented to Madrigal employee Lydia Rodarte-Quayle, on display in her office, in recognition of Outstanding Leadership in Business.
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| 31 | Saul Goodman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Saul Goodman
Saul Goodman: Believe me, there's no honor among thieves, except for us.
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| 32 | Saul Goodman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Saul Goodman
Saul Goodman: Don't drink and drive. But if you do, call me.
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| 33 | Saul Goodman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Saul Goodman
Saul Goodman: Yo Adrian, Rocky called, he wants his face back!
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| 34 | Saul Goodman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Saul Goodman
Saul Goodman: You ever actually play lazer tag? You know, it's good cardio. Plus, you get to shoot at kids.
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| 35 | Saul Goodman & Walter White | Quotes | Quotes |
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Saul Goodman & Walter White
Saul Goodman: Did you not plan for this contingency?
Walter White: No.
Saul Goodman: Well, next time, plan for it, would you? The starship Enterprise had a self-destruct button, I'm just saying.
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| 36 | Skyler White & Walter White | Quotes | Quotes |
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Skyler White & Walter White
Skyler White: Happy birthday.
Walter White: Oh. Look at that.
Skyler White: That is veggie bacon. Believe it or not. Zero cholesterol, and you won't even taste the difference.
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| 37 | Sponsor | Themes | Billboard |
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 | | #bc092c | #f2d223 | #4d91c2 |
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| 38 | Tigers | Sports | Baseball Teams |
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Tigers
Girls baseball team that Hank and the DEA sponsors.
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| 39 | Time on Hank's dashboard clock when he r... | Trivia | Questions |
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Time on Hank's dashboard clock when he receives a phone call telling him that two men are on their way to kill him, and that he has one minute.
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| 40 | Tuco Salamanca | Quotes | Quotes |
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Tuco Salamanca
Tuco Salamanca: Sometimes you gotta rob to keep your riches.
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| 41 | Tuco Salamanca | Quotes | Quotes |
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Tuco Salamanca
Tuco Salamanca: This kicks like a mule with his balls wrapped in duct tape.
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| 42 | Untitled | Themes | Gray Eagle |
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 | | #850700 | #a03e00 | #e9b700 |
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| 43 | Untitled | Themes | Sin City |
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 | | #d9b022 | #f7c827 | #dfc97d |
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| 44 | Untitled | Themes | Shield, The |
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 | | #83150d | #d08916 | #000000 |
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| 45 | Untitled | Themes | Dark Shadows |
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 | | #000000 | #7c3d33 | #7c3d33 |
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| 46 | Untitled | Themes | Beast 2 |
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 | | #0c3e69 | #3296ec | #bbd5ec |
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| 47 | Walt & Jesse | Themes | Pleasantville |
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 | | #191b1a | #616064 | #7e9886 |
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| 48 | Walt & Jesse | Themes | 3-D |
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 | | #662121 | #ce401d | #c2b32c |
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| 49 | Walt and Skyler's new baby daughter Holl... | Trivia | Numbers Game |
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Walt and Skyler's new baby daughter Holly weighs how much when she's born?
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3 pound, 4 ounces |
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7 pounds, 3 ounces |
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5 pounds, 5 ounces |
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| 50 | Walt decides he needs how much money to ... | Trivia | Numbers Game |
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Walt decides he needs how much money to support his family after he's gone?
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$737,000 |
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$1,000,000 |
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$867,5309 |
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| 51 | Walter White | Quotes | Quotes |
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Walter White
Walter White: I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks.
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| 52 | Walter White | Quotes | Quotes |
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Walter White
Walter White: I said fuck you. And your eyebrows. Wipe down this!
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| 53 | Walter White | Quotes | Quotes |
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Walter White
Walter White: Run.
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| 54 | Walter White | Quotes | Quotes |
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Walter White
Walter White: Smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute plans in my book.
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| 55 | Walter White | Quotes | Quotes |
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Walter White
Walter White: Well, guess what, every life comes with a death sentence.
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| 56 | Walter White & Mike Ehrmantraut | Quotes | Quotes |
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Walter White & Mike Ehrmantraut
Walter White: I'm going to need some assurance.
Mike Ehrmantraut: I assure you I can kill you from way over here if it makes you feel any better.
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| 57 | Walter White Jr, Skyler White & Walter W... | Quotes | Quotes |
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Walter White Jr, Skyler White & Walter White
Walter White Jr: What the hell is this?
Skyler White: Hey.
Walter White: It's veggie bacon. We're watching our cholesterol, I guess.
Walter White Jr: Not me. I want real bacon. Not this fake crap.
Skyler White: Too bad. Eat it.
Walter White Jr: This smells like Band-Aids.
Skyler White: Eat it.
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