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| 1 | Ambassador Mervin   | Quotes | Quotes |
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Ambassador Mervin
Ambassador Mervin: Stay back! This embassy is sovereign mud of the mud planet Decapod 10. Invading these mud premises is an act of war.
 
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| 2 | Amy Wong | Quotes | Quotes |
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Amy Wong
Amy Wong: Aw, he looks like a little insane drunken angel!
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| 3 | Amy Wong | Quotes | Quotes |
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Amy Wong
Amy Wong: Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me.
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| 4 | Amy Wong | Quotes | Quotes |
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Amy Wong
Amy Wong: You just have to give guys a chance. Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's a pig, but then later on you realize he actually has a really good body.
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| 5 | Announcer | Quotes | Quotes |
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Announcer
Announcer: Please rise for the national anthem (Star Trek fight theme from the episode Amok Time begins playing).
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| 6 | Bender  | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender (apron): To serve man.
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| 7 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender (singing): Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do! I'm half crazy all for the love of you! It won't be a stylish Marriage, I can't afford a carriage, But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bycicle built for two!
 
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| 8 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Ahhh, what an awful dream! Ones and zeroes everywhere. and I thought I saw a two!
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| 9 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Behold, my hand crafted purity. The modern world can bite my splintery, wooden ass!
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| 10 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!
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| 11 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Bodies are for hookers and fat people! All I need is a wad of cash with a head wrapped around it.
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| 12 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Enough of this crap. I'm catching the next pimpmobile out of here.
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| 13 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Good Night, you princes of Maine, Kings of New New England.
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| 14 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Hey keeo it down in there! I'm tuning my banjo.
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| 15 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?
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| 16 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Hot diggity daffodil!
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| 17 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: If they put me on a stamp tell 'em to use the young Bender.
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| 18 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Let's face it, comedy is a dead art form. Now tragedy, ha ha ha, that's funny!
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| 19 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Lick my frozen metal ass.
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| 20 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Of all the former crew members of the professor's delivery ship, our next speaker is by far the most alive... Captain Musky.
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| 21 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Oh, but you can. Though you may have to metaphorically make a "deal with the devil". And by "devil" I mean "Robot Devil". And by "metaphorically" I mean "get your coat".
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| 22 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Oh, yeah? Well bite my shiny metal... Oh, nooo!
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| 23 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Please Honey I'm made of metal, like you're really gonna hurt me with a... hey, what are you doing with that microwave?
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| 24 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Second Place, that's a fancy word for 'Loser'.
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| 25 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: So then the hookerbot says, "That's not my expansion slot", and my friend says, "That's not my gold-plated 25-pin connector!"
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| 26 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Son, daddy's trying to score with a cheap floozy right now, so we need you to cram a Tinkertoy in it!
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| 27 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: This throws my entire perception of reality into question. Clone? Robot? Or long-lost twin? Taking all bets! I also offer video poker.
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| 28 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Well, I guess reality is what you make of it.
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| 29 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: We're boned!
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| 30 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: When we kiss, I feel like we're standing waste deep in a pool of rising water.
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| 31 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: Who will make Bender waffles just the way he likes them now?
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| 32 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: You look like whale barf.
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| 33 | Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender
Bender: You're a pimple on society's ass and will never amount to anything!
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| 34 | Bender & Flexo | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender & Flexo
Bender: Flexo?
Flexo: Bender?
Bender: Hey, sorry you got sent to that South American Turkish prison instead of me on account of mistaken identity.
Flexo: You bastard! They treated me like an animal! And that's what I became!
Bender: Nah, you're all right. Good to see ya, buddy.
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| 35 | Bender & Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender & Leela
Bender: I can't see what's happening. Are we boned?
Leela: Yeah, we're boned.
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| 36 | Bender & the Countess | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender & the Countess
Bender: If you let go, I let go.
The Countess: No, you have too much to live for. It may hurt for a while, but one day, you'll share your love again. After all, it's shareware.
Bender: Don't talk like that. Tragic romances always have a happy ending.
The Countess: Farewell.
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| 37 | Bender 1 | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bender 1
Bender 1: Hey! Bite my glorious golden ass!
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| 38 | Bill Clinton | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton: Hey sugar cookie, you know nothing I can do counts as sex anymore.
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| 39 | Bob Barker | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bob Barker
Bob Barker: I may be against the fur industry, but that won't stop me from skinning you alive, as long as no one wears the skin.
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| 40 | Calculon | Quotes | Quotes |
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Calculon
Calculon: Get your stinkin' trike off me, you damn dirty ape!
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| 41 | Calculon | Quotes | Quotes |
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Calculon
Calculon: Great Shatner's ghost!
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| 42 | Calculon | Quotes | Quotes |
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Calculon
Calculon: Have you got an extra goto 10 line?
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| 43 | Calculon | Quotes | Quotes |
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Calculon
Calculon: I'm filled with a large number of powerful emotions.
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| 44 | Calculon | Quotes | Quotes |
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Calculon
Calculon: Oh, how cruel and melodramatic fate is. Why?
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| 45 | Church of Trek Priest | Quotes | Quotes |
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Church of Trek Priest
Church of Trek Priest: And Scotty beamed them to the Klingon ship where they would be no Tribble at all.
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| 46 | Dirty Hippie | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dirty Hippie
Dirty Hippie: This is not happening!
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| 47 | Donbot | Quotes | Quotes |
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Donbot
Donbot: Get a load of the ball bearings on this guy.
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| 48 | Dr. Veins McGee | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dr. Veins McGee
Dr. Veins McGee: Well, except for a few broken bones, some internal hemorrhaging and a partially barfed-up heart, everyone appears fine. Oh, and Kif is pregnant.
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| 49 | Dr. Zoidberg | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dr. Zoidberg
Dr. Zoidberg (after Professor Farnsworth unintentionally sprays himself with fish pheromones): I'm so into you.
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| 50 | Dr. Zoidberg | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dr. Zoidberg
Dr. Zoidberg (pointing at Fry's neck): I shall begin here, in the gonads!
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| 51 | Dr. Zoidberg | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dr. Zoidberg
Dr. Zoidberg: Edna, of all the slimy gross crabmonsers on this planet, you are apparently the hottest.
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| 52 | Dr. Zoidberg | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dr. Zoidberg
Dr. Zoidberg: Get ready, Fry, I'm going to rip your swim bladder out and show it to you.
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| 53 | Edna | Quotes | Quotes |
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Edna
Edna: Hello, Fry, can I interest you in some surf and turf?
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| 54 | Elzar | Quotes | Quotes |
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Elzar
Elzar: You little crooks! If I catch you I'm gonna make cutie-muffin gumbo!
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| 55 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: All right, brain, get ready for some electroshock treatment!
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| 56 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: Call it a hunch, but I've got a bad feeling about this.
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| 57 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: Cool, just like in Star Tr-oomph.
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| 58 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: Hey, look! The players who broke the various colour barriers (display case includes a green alien, an orange alien, a purple alien and the racially superior alien from the Star Trek TOS episode Let That Be Your Last Battlefield).
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| 59 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: Hey, what smells like blue?
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| 60 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: I don't like having disks crammed into me except for Oreo's and then only in the mouth.
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| 61 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: In the woods. I was walking, for Bigfoot, looking, and then aliens beamed me up.
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| 62 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?
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| 63 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: I'm gonna be a science fiction hero, just like Uhura, or Captain Janeway, or Xena.
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| 64 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: I'm gonna continue never washing this cheek again.
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| 65 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: Michelle, I don't regret this. But I do both rue and lament it.
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| 66 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: No knife can penetrate my skintanium armor!
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| 67 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: Oh finally! Sweet justice! Sweet juicy justice!
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| 68 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: Oh, wow! It's like that drug trip I saw in that movie when I was on that drug trip.
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| 69 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: Oh, you worthless human.
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| 70 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: Well, goodbye. Live long and prosper.
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| 71 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: Why are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to your ass?
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| 72 | Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry
Fry: You know what movies average out to be really good? The first six Star Trek movies!
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| 73 | Fry & Amy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry & Amy
Fry: I just saw something incredibly cool: A big, floating ball that lit up with every colour in the rainbow, plus some new ones that were so beautiful I fell to my knees and cried.
Amy: Was it out in front of Discount Shoe Outlet?
Fry: Yeah.
Amy: They have a college kid wear that to attract customers.
Fry: Well I don't care if it was some dork in a costume. For one brief moment I felt the heartbeat of creation, and it was one with my own.
 
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| 74 | Fry & Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry & Bender
Fry: Dearly beloved, we are here to remember Bender, crushed by a runaway semi
driven by the Incredible Hulk.
Bender: Aw, you knew my favorite cause of death.
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| 75 | Fry & Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry & Bender
Fry: Ooh, Big Pink. It's the only gum with the breath-freshening power of ham.
Bender: And it pinkens your teeth while you chew!
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| 76 | Fry & Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry & Leela
Fry: It's good to have the old weird-looking Leela back.
Leela: Aww! You're a true friend, Fry. I guess there's nothing wrong with being a little weird.
Fry: Leela, there's nothing wrong with anything.
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| 77 | Fry & Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry & Leela
Fry: Leela! I've set up a time-proof shelter in the closet. There's only room for two, and you're the one I want to share it with.
Leela: Fry, that's so sweet. Lemme see. How exactly will this protect us from time jumps?
Fry: 'Cause when we're together in here, baby, time will stand still.
 
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| 78 | Fry & Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry & Leela
Fry: Well, you guys might both be losers, but I just made out with that radiator woman from the radiator planet.
Leela: Fry, that's a radiator.
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| 79 | Fry, Leela & Zoidberg | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry, Leela & Zoidberg
Fry: Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub into your skin? You'd think it'd be something you have to freebase.
Leela: Let's see. Which powers do we have? Super-strength?
Fry: Yup.
Leela: Uh-huh. Lickety speed?
Fry: Check.
Leela: Yes, sir! Ability to command the loyalty of sea creatures?
Fry: Hey, Zoidberg, get in here!
Zoidberg: Screw you!
Leela: Ain't got that.
Fry: Nope!
 
 
 
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| 80 | Fry's Grandmother | Quotes | Quotes |
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Fry's Grandmother
Fry's grandmother: How about these cookies, sugar!
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| 81 | General Colin Packman | Quotes | Quotes |
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General Colin Packman
General Colin Packman: It's working! Victory's assured! My retirement tomorrow will be all the sweeter! ...I'm hit! So cold.
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| 82 | George Takei, Zapp Brannigan & Nichelle ... | Quotes | Quotes |
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George Takei, Zapp Brannigan & Nichelle Nichols
George Takei: You see, the show was banned after the Star Trek wars.
Zapp Brannigan: You mean the vast migration of Star Wars fans?
Nichelle Nichols: No, that was the Star Wars trek. By the 23rd century, Star Trek fandom had evolved from a loose association of nerds with skin problems into a full-blown religion.
 
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| 83 | Glurmo | Quotes | Quotes |
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Glurmo
Glurmo: That concludes the portion of the tour where you stay alive!
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| 84 | Gunther | Quotes | Quotes |
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Gunther
Gunther the Monkey: All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to Business School!
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| 85 | Helmet Spargle | Quotes | Quotes |
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Helmet Spargle
Helmet Spargle: Elzar had been seduced by the dark side of cooking. Cilantro, mango salsa, raspberry vinaigrette!
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| 86 | Helmet Spargle | Quotes | Quotes |
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Helmet Spargle
Helmet Spargle: It is the essence of pure flavor. A few drops will cause the inner perfection of any dish to blossom forth. Oh! There goes my... life.
 
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| 87 | Hermes | Quotes | Quotes |
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Hermes
Hermes: Poor Fry. He's got the munchies for freedom.
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| 88 | Hermes | Quotes | Quotes |
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Hermes
Hermes: Sweet honeybee of infinity!
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| 89 | Hermes Conrad | Quotes | Quotes |
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Hermes Conrad
Hermes Conrad (seeing Flexo for the first time): Sweet llamas of the Bahamas. Except for that stylish beard, he look just like Bender.
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| 90 | Intergalactic Stock Exchange | Quotes | Quotes |
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Intergalactic Stock Exchange
Intergalactic Stock Exchange: Kirk -1.25 / Gorn +2.
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| 91 | Jor-El | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jor-El
Jor-El: Attention, please. The takeover of PlanEx Corp. by Mom's Delivery Company will take place in the business centre in 10 minutes. I am Jor-El, master of scheduling!
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| 92 | Kif | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kif
Kif (reading from Zapp's book of pickup lines): Amy, If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?
 
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| 93 | Kif | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kif
Kif: The Holo-Shed's on the fritz again. The characters turned real!
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| 94 | Kif, Professor Moriarty & Abraham Lincol... | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kif, Professor Moriarty & Abraham Lincoln
Kif: I fear the Holo-Shed might be broken again. Well, as long as we don't cross paths with Attila the... And there's Professor Moriarty. Jack the Ripper! Evil Lincoln!
Professor Moriarty: Right-O, gents. It's another simulation gone mad. So murder and mayhem, standard procedure.
Abraham Lincoln: Real holographic-Simulated Evil Lincoln is back!
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| 95 | Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela
Leela: Hubert J. Farnsworth was born February 9, 2851 in New New York's nerdiest slum, Hell's Laboratory.
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| 96 | Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela
Leela: Is there a Mrs. Queequeg?
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| 97 | Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela
Leela: I'll find Fry's coffin, get his corpse and keep it under my mattress to remind me that he's really dead. That'll prove I'm not insane!
 
 
 
 
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| 98 | Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela
Leela: Man, I'm sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with Mighty Thor.
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| 99 | Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela
Leela: No offense, Fry, but you've become a fat sack of crap.
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| 100 | Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela
Leela: Okay, Bender has her distracted. Now I can shut down her brain by deactivating the carbonated logic matrix.
 
 
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| 101 | Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela
Leela: So, what do you think of the impulsive new me?
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| 102 | Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela
Leela: You're vegetarians, who cares what you do?
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| 103 | Leela & Alcazar | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela & Alcazar
Leela: Come on, Al, can't you let the little guy out?
Alcazar: Geez, Leela - twice in one day? I'm not Superman.
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| 104 | Leela & Amy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela & Amy
Leela: Do you have any gum?
Amy: No.
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| 105 | Leela & Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela & Bender
Leela (reading message in blood on the wall): 0101100101 - what does it mean?
Bender: It's just gibberish. (Reading same message backwards in the mirror): 1010011010! (screaming).
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| 106 | Leela & Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela & Bender
Leela: They say Zapp Brannigan single handedly saved the Octillian System from a horde of rampaging killbots.
Bender: A grim day for robotkind... but we can always build more killbots.
Leela: He's the most decorated captain in the whole Democratic Order of Planets.
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| 107 | Leela & Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela & Fry
Leela: Look at all this filth.
Fry: It's not filth. It's a glorious monument to the achievements of the 20th Century. Look, a real beanie baby. Oh, a Mr. Spock collector's plate! Some Bart Simpson dolls!
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| 108 | Leela, Fry & Planet Express Ship | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela, Fry & Planet Express Ship
Leela: This is the one place she can't hear us. Just pretend to shower.
Fry: Same as every day. Got it.
Leela: Now here's the plan.
Planet Express Ship: Oh, if only I could read lips.
 
 
 
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| 109 | Leela, William Shatner & Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela, William Shatner & Fry
Leela: For one hundred quatloos: Who did the captain maroon on Ceti Alpha V?
William Shatner: Khaaan!
Fry: Uh ... Khan?
Leela: Correct.
 
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| 110 | Leela, Zapp Brannigan & Kif | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leela, Zapp Brannigan & Kif
Leela: You know, Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson.
App Brannigan: If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?
Kif: Sexlexia.
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| 111 | Leonard Nimoy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leonard Nimoy
Leonard Nimoy (before trying the Vulcan Nerve Pinch on Bender): Let's see if this actually works!
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| 112 | Leonard Nimoy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leonard Nimoy
Leonard Nimoy: Let's see if this actually works!
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| 113 | Leonard Nimoy & Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Leonard Nimoy & Fry
Leonard Nimoy: Welcome to the Head Museum. I am Leonard Nimoy.
Fry: Spock? Hey, do the thing.
Leonard Nimoy: I don't do that anymore.
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| 114 | Lord Nibbler | Quotes | Quotes |
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Lord Nibbler
Lord Nibbler: That name is for your sake. In the time it would take to pronounce one letter of my true name, a trillion cosmoses would flare into existence and sink into eternal night.
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| 115 | Malachi & Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Malachi & Bender
Malachi: Oh, Metal Lord, hear my prayer!
Bender: Yes, Malachi. What is it this time?
Malachi: The infidels on your back no longer believe in you. They say their prayers go unheeded.
Bender: How am I supposed to hear prayers coming out of my ass? They talk of war against the faithful. I beseech thee, rise up against them. Smite someone who deserves it for once.
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| 116 | Melllvar, Leonard Nimoy & Nichelle Nicho... | Quotes | Quotes |
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Melllvar, Leonard Nimoy & Nichelle Nichols
Melllvar: Here I've been admiring a bunch of actors while you, a crew of genuine space heroes, risked your lives to save them.
Leonard Nimoy: Hey! We've done heroic things too.
Nichelle Nichols: Yeah! In the third season I kissed Shatner!
 
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| 117 | Mom | Quotes | Quotes |
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Mom
Mom: Shut up, booger blaster.
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| 118 | Mom | Quotes | Quotes |
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Mom
Mom: Take me now, you stud.
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| 119 | Monolith | Quotes | Quotes |
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Monolith
Monolith (sign): Out of Order.
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| 120 | Morbo | Quotes | Quotes |
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Morbo
Morbo: Kittens give Morbo gas.
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| 121 | Narrator, Fry, Leela & Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Narrator, Fry, Leela & Bender
Narrator: Attention, all crooks, lowlifes and lawbreakers. Do yourselves a favor and crawl back into your filthy tenements, you human cockroaches. Or get your ugly face punched to custard by the New Justice Team!
Fry: Captain Yesterday!
Leela: Clobberella!
Bender: And Superking! The best one of the three!
 
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| 122 | Ndnd | Quotes | Quotes |
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Ndnd
Ndnd: It is true what they say - women are from Omicron Persei 7, men are from Omicron Persei 9.
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| 123 | Nichelle Nichols | Quotes | Quotes |
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Nichelle Nichols
Nichelle Nichols: Eternity with nerds. It's the Pasadena Star Trek convention all over again.
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| 124 | Nichelle Nichols | Quotes | Quotes |
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Nichelle Nichols
Nichelle Nichols: Incoming transmission from MCI One Rate department. It sounds like a limited time offer.
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| 125 | Nichelle Nichols, William Shatner & Geor... | Quotes | Quotes |
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Nichelle Nichols, William Shatner & George Takei
Nichelle Nichols: What if I distract them with my famous fan dance?
William Shatner: Oh, that's good, good, good, good. And then, George, you give them a karate chop!
George Takei: I find that offensive. Just because I'm of Japanese ancestry you assume I know karate. Have I ever led you to believe I've studied karate?
William Shatner: Well, no, but you never talk about yourself.
George Takei: Maybe if you showed a little interest.
 
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| 126 | Nurse Ratchet | Quotes | Quotes |
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Nurse Ratchet
Nurse Ratchet: I'm Nurse Ratchet. Please come with me, won't you?
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| 127 | Ogden Wernstrom | Quotes | Quotes |
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Ogden Wernstrom
Ogden Wernstrom: Pencils down, prune face.
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| 128 | Pharaoh Hermenthotip & Bender | Quotes | Quotes |
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Pharaoh Hermenthotip & Bender
Pharaoh Hermenthotip: Tell the slaves they can all go...
Bender: Go faster? I told them, but they're lazy.
Pharaoh Hermenthotip: No. I mean, they're all free.
Bender: Freeloading off you? I agree.
Pharaoh Hermenthotip: No, I...
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| 129 | President Richard Nixon | Quotes | Quotes |
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President Richard Nixon
President Richard Nixon: This is the moment we were training for all yesterday afternoon.
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| 130 | Professor Fanrsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Fanrsworth
Professor Fanrsworth: They'll be killed on our doorstep and there's no trash pickup until January 3rd!
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| 131 | Professor Farnsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Farnsworth
Farnsworth: Your grandfather? Stay away from him, you dim-witted monkey. You mustn't interfere with the past. Don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to do it. In which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!
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| 132 | Professor Farnsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Farnsworth
Professor Farnsworth (staring at a colossal mouth bass): Sweet zombie Jesus - it's huge!
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| 133 | Professor Farnsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Farnsworth
Professor Farnsworth (staring at the bill at Elzar's): Holy zombie Jesus!
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| 134 | Professor Farnsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Farnsworth
Professor Farnsworth: A billion robot lives are about to be extinguished. Oh, the Jedis are going to feel this one!
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| 135 | Professor Farnsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Farnsworth
Professor Farnsworth: Balderdash! I'll be the judge of who's cool, using the Cool-o-meter! ...Good Lord! I'm getting a reading of over 40 mega-Fonzies!
 
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| 136 | Professor Farnsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Farnsworth
Professor Farnsworth: Gotta go - Fight Club!
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| 137 | Professor Farnsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Farnsworth
Professor Farnsworth: Let this abomination unto the Lord begin!
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| 138 | Professor Farnsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Farnsworth
Professor Farnsworth: Perhaps it's your outlook that needs a good bend - a 90-degree bend - to a place where happiness is perpendicular to wonderment.
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| 139 | Professor Farnsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Farnsworth
Professor Farnsworth: Something involving that many Big words could easily destabilize time itself. At this rate, by Tuesday it will be Thursday. By Wednesday, it will be August. And by Thursday, it will be the end of existence as we know it.
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| 140 | Professor Farnsworth & Hermes | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Farnsworth & Hermes
Professor Farnsworth: It's a delivery for the Democratic Order of Planets. It's similar to the United Nations from your time, Fry.
Hermes: Or the Federation from your Star Trek program.
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| 141 | Professor Hubert Farnsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Hubert Farnsworth
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Choke on that, Causality!
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| 142 | Professor Hubert Farnsworth | Quotes | Quotes |
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Professor Hubert Farnsworth
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: What? After I spent months slaving over a hot monkey brain?
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| 143 | Richard Nixon | Quotes | Quotes |
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Richard Nixon
Richard Nixon: Bring it on, soup can!
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| 144 | Robot & Donbot | Quotes | Quotes |
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Robot & Donbot
Robot: Donbot, I beg you, I can't make this week's loan payment. Look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file.
Donbot: File not found.
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| 145 | Robot Prototype | Quotes | Quotes |
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Robot Prototype
Robot Prototype: Oh, dear. Might I favor master with a tender kiss on the forehead?
 
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| 146 | Romanticorp Dummy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Romanticorp Dummy
Romanticorp Dummy: Is Heaven missing an angel? Because you got nice cans.
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| 147 | Romanticorp Dummy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Romanticorp Dummy
Romanticorp Dummy: My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself.
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| 148 | Scarecrow Fry | Quotes | Quotes |
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Scarecrow Fry
Scarecrow Fry (reading Stephen King's Christine): Crow, prepare to be scared. "Then, the car honked its own horn!"
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| 149 | The Scary Door Narrator | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Scary Door Narrator
The Scary Door Narrator: Enclosed as a PDF attachment, a picture of yourself in a boat on a river. It's a river that flows in two directions. Make that three. It's a magic river, that's how. And it's flowing down the eerie canal to... The Scary Door. That's eerie with two Es.
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| 150 | The Scary Door Narrator | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Scary Door Narrator
The Scary Door Narrator: Imagine, if you will, a three by seven inch wooden frame -- a frame that's a gateway to a world of imagination. Wipe your mind on the welcome mat. You're about to enter The Scary Door.
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| 151 | The Scary Door Narrator | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Scary Door Narrator
The Scary Door Narrator: Imagine, if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a (mumbles) but you're not quite sure what he said. (mouth full) He seems to be eating something (normal) or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about... The Scary Door.
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| 152 | The Scary Door Narrator | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Scary Door Narrator
The Scary Door Narrator: In the end, it was not guns or bombs that destroyed the aliens, but that humblest of God's creatures. The Tyrannosaurus Rex.
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| 153 | The Scary Door Narrator | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Scary Door Narrator
The Scary Door Narrator: You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples. It could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door.
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| 154 | The Scary Door Narrator | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Scary Door Narrator
The Scary Door Narrator: You're entering a realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic, or contains some kind of monster... The second one. Prepare to enter the Scary Door.
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| 155 | The Scary Door Narrator | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Scary Door Narrator
The Scary Door Narrator: You're on a scenic route through a state recreational area known as the human mind. You ask a passer-by for directions, only to find he has no face or something. Suddenly up ahead, a door in the road. You swerve, narrowly avoiding The Scary Door.
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| 156 | The Scary Door Narrator | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Scary Door Narrator
The Scary Door Narrator: You're taking a vacation from normality. The setting: a weird motel where the bed is stained with mystery. And there's also some mystery floating in the pool. Your key card may not open the exercise room because someone smeared mystery on the lock. But it will open the Scary Door.
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| 157 | Scientist & Man | Quotes | Quotes |
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Scientist & Man
Scientist: I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals to make the most evil creature of them all.
Man: It turns out it's Man.
 
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| 158 | Scruffy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Scruffy
Scruffy: Scruffy's formulated a plan, but you'll need a ready source of nauseatin' rotten fish.
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| 159 | That Guy | Quotes | Quotes |
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That Guy
That Guy: Back in the 1980's, I was the toast of Wall Street. I was having whiskey with Boesky and cookies with Milken. But then, I was diagnosed with terminal boneitis. There was no cure at the time. One drug company was close but I arranged a hostile takeover and sold off all the assets. Made a cool hundred mil. Naturally I froze myself until a cure was found. Now here I am, ready to sleaze my way back to the top, 80's style!
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| 160 | That Guy | Quotes | Quotes |
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That Guy
That Guy: My only regret is that I have... Boneitis.
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| 161 | Title Card | Quotes | Quotes |
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Title Card
Title Card: 01001010!!!
 
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| 162 | Title Card | Quotes | Quotes |
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Title Card
Title Card: For proper viewing, take red pill now.
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| 163 | Title Card | Quotes | Quotes |
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Title Card
Title Card: YAK!!!
 
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| 164 | Trekkie #1 & Trekkie #2 | Quotes | Quotes |
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Trekkie #1 & Trekkie #2
Trekkie #1: No way! Kirk could kick Picard's ass!
Trekkie #2: Yeah? At least Picard had the guts to admit he was bald!
Trekkie #1: What? You take that back!
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| 165 | Truck Stop Jerk | Quotes | Quotes |
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Truck Stop Jerk
Truck Stop Jerk: Yo, sexy mama, let's get busy and freaky, in that order.
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| 166 | William Shatner | Quotes | Quotes |
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William Shatner
William Shatner: Shatner's log, airdate... unknown. The impossible has happened. It would take days to recount the events I have witnessed. So, settle in. It all began...
 
 
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| 167 | William Shatner & Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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William Shatner & Leela
William Shatner: There's no right way to hit a woman.
Leela: Then do it the wrong way.
William Shatner: Fine.
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| 168 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: Bender's Top 10 Most Frequently Uttered Words: 10. Chump, 9. Chumpette, 8. Yours, 7. Up, 6. Pimpmobile, 5. Bite, 4. My, 3. Shiny, 2. Daffodil, 1. Ass.
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| 169 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: How about I let you finish that dream you were having about me.
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| 170 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I'm sensing a very sensual disturbance in the Force. Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy.
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| 171 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: Now that's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes.
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| 172 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: So, trapped on a ship with me... Let's say you and I knock some very sensual boots.
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| 173 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: The Democratic Order of Planets prohibits interfering with undeveloped worlds. it's a little rule known as Brannigan's Law.
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| 174 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: This is turning into one very sexy struggle for the future of the human race.
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| 175 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: Well, hello! I usually don't say this but you are the most beautiful trio of gigantic ladies I've ever laid eyes on.
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| 176 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: Well, nothing to do now but repopulate the human race. (to Leela) Just me and you! (to Amy) And maybe you.
 
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| 177 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: What's the matter, Private? Tent got your tongue? Kif, write that down. I want to send it in to Humor in Uniform.
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| 178 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: You're an impressive piece of captain. Beautiful and deadly, a potent combination.
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| 179 | Zapp Brannigan | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: Zapp: Here's my personal book of pickup lines. Say as many of them as you can as fast as you can. Don't stop for any reason.
 
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| 180 | Zapp Brannigan & Kif | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan & Kif
Zapp Brannigan: Captain's journal, stardate, uh...
Kif: April 13th.
Zapp Brannigan: April 13... point two. We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? Kif, I'm asking you a question.
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| 181 | Zapp Brannigan & Leela | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zapp Brannigan & Leela
Zapp Brannigan: Lemon, you're a man's man. You're a man's man's man. More importantly, your hand, while firm and masculine, is soft as a velvet child. What lotion do you use?
Leela: Pert and Popular, Sir.
Zapp Brannigan: Roger that. Kif, get me ten cases of Pert and Popular.
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| 182 | Zoidberg | Quotes | Quotes |
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Zoidberg
Zoidberg: Deny my freedom, will you? Well we'll do to you what we did to the Squash Men of the Squash Planet! Squish them!
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