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| 1 | Antwon Mitchell  | Quotes | Quotes |
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Antwon Mitchell
Antwon Mitchell: Couldn't pass up a police escort. I felt like the mayor of Cracker Town.
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| 2 | Antwon Mitchell & Shane  | Quotes | Quotes |
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Antwon Mitchell & Shane
Antwon Mitchell: Hey, things ain't the same as before, man. We got these cops coming after us like stormtroopers.
Shane: Well, I'm your Luke Skywalker.
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| 3 | Billings | Quotes | Quotes |
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Billings
Billings: I love the smell of sexual assault in the morning... I didn't mean that the way it came out.
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| 4 | Billings  | Quotes | Quotes |
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Billings
Billings: I was outnumbered and outgunned. Come on, you know you can't show any weakness in this house. You saw how they treated Reynolds when they caught him bawling his eyes out in the locker room, or Lowell when his boyfriend threw a hissy fit. They still make fag jokes behind his back.
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| 5 | Billings | Quotes | Quotes |
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Billings
Billings: They give us this badge, and a gun, and they expect us to act like Superman. Like I'm not a middle aged guy who could use a few more hours a week on the treadmill.
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| 6 | Claudette | Quotes | Quotes |
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Claudette
Claudette: Credit's overrated.
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| 7 | Danny | Quotes | Quotes |
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Danny
Danny: I called it a code four. Since the only casualty was Cujo's.
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| 8 | Danny & Shane | Quotes | Quotes |
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Danny & Shane
Danny: I hear Aceveda's putting a new member on your team.
Shane: Nope. He's jamming affirmative action down our throats.
Danny: He's got you looking at any women?
Shane: Yeah, we're bringing in Batgirl and Charlie's Angels.
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| 9 | David Aceveda & Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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David Aceveda & Vic Mackey
David Aceveda: You're going undercover as dirty cops? You think you can pull that off?
Vic Mackey: We can try.
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| 10 | Dutch | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dutch
Dutch: Lloyd, why is it ten hours after killing someone, you seem past it? Just for shits and giggles, let me tell you how I think this might have gone down if it had been, say, a murder. You could have gone to Luis yourself, told him about some theoretical cash lying around your house. "You make it look like a robbery. We'll split it 50/50." Only when Luis breaks in, you're waiting there to kill him, to see what it feels like. A science experiment you could ace. Stand over the body, life draining out of him, watching him die. Certain kind of person, might make you feel like Superman.
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| 11 | Dutch | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dutch
Dutch: So, you're a racist now? How's that working out for you?
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| 12 | Dutch | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dutch
Dutch: We've got dick, which is more than I can say for the victim.
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| 13 | Dutch | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dutch
Dutch: You know how things spread around here - like Herpes at a swingers party.
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| 14 | Esteva | Quotes | Quotes |
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Esteva
Esteva: What do I look like Wonder Woman to you? I'm wearing some magic bracelets that's gonna deflect bullets when people find out that I'm talking to you assholes?
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| 15 | Lem | Quotes | Quotes |
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Lem
Lem: Hey, are you talking now? We lost you to the Twilight Zone there for a few weeks, man. Doctor says you can start rehab pretty soon.
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| 16 | Shane Vendrell & Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Shane Vendrell & Vic Mackey
Shane Vendrell: A little light reading?
Vic Mackey (handing Shane note from Lem): Package just came in.
Shane Vendrell (reading Lem's note out loud): Not looking forward to the 8-by-10 cell or fighting for the top bunk, but I figure the least I can do is come out smarter than when I went in. Send these to me whenever I land. I'll miss you, Lem.
Vic Mackey: He ordered these online the night before he went on the run. Art, sports, history, Stephen King. Look at this - Birds of America. Dreams and What They Mean.
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| 17 | Shane Vendrell & Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Shane Vendrell & Vic Mackey
Shane Vendrell: Hey, where you been?
Vic Mackey: I had an ex-wife thing.
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| 18 | Tina | Quotes | Quotes |
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Tina
Tina: You could use some tight-ass lube yourself, Sparky.
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| 19 | Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Vic Mackey
Vic Mackey: Always separate your bloodstains from your delicates asshole.
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| 20 | Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Vic Mackey
Vic Mackey: Hey Captain, didn't see you there. Someone should put a bell around your neck.
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| 21 | Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Vic Mackey
Vic Mackey: I don't step aside. I step up.
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| 22 | Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Vic Mackey
Vic Mackey: If I want them to think I'm a corrupt cop, I at least gotta be honest about it.
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| 23 | Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Vic Mackey
Vic Mackey: I'll send you a postcard from Space Mountain.
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| 24 | Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Vic Mackey
Vic Mackey: Sometimes you just gotta let the pussy go.
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| 25 | Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Vic Mackey
Vic Mackey: That's a decision for when we need to make a decision.
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| 26 | Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Vic Mackey
Vic Mackey: This meth, made from pure Mexican ephedra. Cooked up in a state of the art laboratory by a team of Ph.D. chemists. Clean as a virgin's whistle hole. And a lot cheaper than the shit you're getting.
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| 27 | Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Vic Mackey
Vic Mackey: Your ex-wife's pussy tastes like sweet butter.
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| 28 | Vic Mackey | Quotes | Quotes |
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Vic Mackey
Vic Mackey: You're the pathetic asshole headed for Antwon Mitchell-ville.
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| 29 | Vic Mackey & Shane Vendrell | Quotes | Quotes |
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Vic Mackey & Shane Vendrell
Vic Mackey: Stay hello to the hounds of Hell.
Shane Vendrell: Ruff.
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