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| Film 2001. Written by John Whelpley. Directed by Brent Maddock. Starring Michael Gross, Shawn Christian, Susan Chuang and Ariana Richards. |  | |
Total Record Results: 24 - Medium: FILM / Group: OTHER / Category: QUOTES |
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| # | | 1 | Agent Frank Statler  | Quotes | Quotes | | Agent Frank Statler Agent Frank Statler: I am the granted authority to insure adherence to Section 1472-B of the Endangered Species Act, which guards the welfare of large-class desert reptilians. I'm enforcing an immediate ban on hunting of graboids in Perfection Valley.

| | 2 | Burt Gummer  | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: A lifetime of preparation, and I end up a refugee?

| | 3 | Burt Gummer | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: And that's why we're at the top of the food chain!
| | 4 | Burt Gummer | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: First rule of engagement: know your enemy. Second rule: know where to engage him.
| | 5 | Burt Gummer | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: Houston, we have a problem.
| | 6 | Burt Gummer  | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: I prefer we keep this to ourselves.

| | 7 | Burt Gummer | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: I think if I had an inner voice, it'd be tellin' me to tell you to get lost.
| | 8 | Burt Gummer  | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: Is your head up your ass for the warmth?
| | 9 | Burt Gummer  | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: I'm a masterpiece of self destruction.

| | 10 | Burt Gummer  | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: Need I remind you Jack? They are not your friends, they are government agents. Over!

| | 11 | Burt Gummer  | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: Not to worry, our perimeter is completely Graboid proof.

| | 12 | Burt Gummer  | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: Now, if you'll kindly lean your endangered carcass over my property line, we'll call your untimely demise 'self defense'.

| | 13 | Burt Gummer  | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: These bastards are smart, and the harder you come at them, the smarter they get.

| | 14 | Burt Gummer | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: What kind of supreme being would condone such irony?
| | 15 | Burt Gummer | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer Burt Gummer: You guys do what you do best: Find something simple and complicate it.
| | 16 | Burt Gummer, Mindy & Miguel  | Quotes | Quotes | | Burt Gummer, Mindy & Miguel Burt Gummer: They're moving slowly down from the north, just like last time, from Jasmer quadrangle straight down the valley into Calypso quadrangle. Mindy: Huh? Miguel: I think he means Cactus Flats. Mindy: Why can't he just say it?

| | 17 | Jack Sawyer  | Quotes | Quotes | | Jack Sawyer Jack Sawyer: Well, ma'am, time is the eternal river. I suggest we not swim upstream.

| | 18 | Jack Sawyer & Burt Gummer | Quotes | Quotes | | Jack Sawyer & Burt Gummer Jack Sawyer: Burt, what happens if this thing eats your food? Burt Gummer: Assblaster Blitzkrieg.
| | 19 | Jodi Chang  | Quotes | Quotes | | Jodi Chang Jodi Chang: Ha! Ass blaster! Blast your own damn ass!

| | 20 | Jodi Chang  | Quotes | Quotes | | Jodi Chang Jodi Chang: Hey, in retail, if you're not three steps ahead, you're one step behind.

| | 21 | Jodi Chang | Quotes | Quotes | | Jodi Chang Jodi Chang: Oh, you guys definitely need to be supervised.
| | 22 | Jodi Chang & Jack Sawyer  | Quotes | Quotes | | Jodi Chang & Jack Sawyer Jodi Chang: All I'm saying is we discovered them, right? So, we should name 'em. Let me think... Okay - blast-offers, or... butt-launchers, that's better, huh? Oh, oh, ass blasters! How's that? Jack Sawyer: Sounds like a porno film.

| | 23 | Jodi Chang, Jack Sawyer & Burt Gummer  | Quotes | Quotes | | Jodi Chang, Jack Sawyer & Burt Gummer Jodi Chang: But do we have a lighter?
Jack Sawyer: Burt does.
Burt Gummer: How do you know?
Jack Sawyer: Well, you're Burt.
Burt Gummer: Damn right I am.

| | 24 | Mindy Sterngood  | Quotes | Quotes | | Mindy Sterngood Mindy Sterngood: I totally hate my life!

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